I need to let you all know quite a bit of things, so please, just bare with me on this post, and read the entire thing. Thank you, I appreciate it.
Well, here I am again. You know, that girl who's always promising you all something wonderful, and then fails to complete it? That would be me. I have a lot to explain, and I was thinking of making a video out of it, but then again, it would get too long because I'd start rambling...Anyways, I am just so grateful to have all of you here for me. So many of you are so kind and supportive, it really means a lot. As I mentioned in my new video's description, I said I felt like I was acting so serious, and almost not human. If you've been on my Flickr recently, and saw my latest three photos, you might have noticed that I just wrote a simple little statement for two of them, the newest I didn't even write anything. Normally on Flickr, I'm always writing a nice long description for the photos, but instead...I don't even know. I'm noticing that when I need to get something out of my head, I just go outside and do photography for hours, that's been my habit lately. I haven't made an actual video in 2 months, that video was my Christmas movie. My videos after that were an opening video, and two photo shoots. To me, those aren't my typical videos. Like I said, I'm very into photography lately. Now, that's going to change. Yes, I'm still going to do photography, but I'm going to begin making my regular videos again too. I've been trying to film, but I find that I seem to give up on them, I feel like I'm not good enough, I'm really judgmental of myself, I'm constantly criticizing my own videos, not your videos, mine. I always find something wrong with all of them. Sure, nobody's perfect, but I feel like I should be. People tell me I'm their role model, all I can say is wow. You have no idea how that makes me feel, extraordinary, really...thank you. Because of that, I just want to make you happy. I've been very unsuccessful at doing so, but...just remember, I'm trying. I have a HUGE surprise, and it's actually going to happen! Not lying, I'm serious about it, it's going to happen, because I won't give up. I won't leave you all hanging. I'm pre-filming for it right now, and it's coming at 3,000 subscribers. So lets get there, and it will come.
I hate to make anyone feel depressed by reading that giant paragraph up there...don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I'm not going to crawl into a ball and die, I don't need a therapist, etc. Right now, I'm sitting in my room in the dark, it's only a quarter after 11 AM here, and I've yet to open my curtains to let sunshine in. xD And I'm listening to the incredible Of Monsters And Men (which you may or may not know is now my new favorite band). I have an unhealthy obsession with their album, "My Head Is An Animal" which is actually kind of ironic, considering that MY head is currently an animal...
Good news, I'm nearly saved up for Kit's bed! It didn't take as long as I expected! I'll be ordering it in about two weeks or so. *happy dance* :)
Again, do not worry about me. I'm going to be okay, I just need some time to think about my life, and I need time management, desperately too... ._.
Thank you for sticking by me through everything, I love you all.